


Mistress

by SparklingDuckling



Series: Loki x Reader OneShots [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Insults, Loki being an asshole, Mentions of Sex, Mistress, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 14:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklingDuckling/pseuds/SparklingDuckling
Summary: You are Loki’s mistress and discover during the events of Thor (2011) that you’re pregnant with Loki’s child.





	Mistress

You could see the warm light of the morning sun through your closed eyelids. It was so warm and comfortable on these soft silk sheets. You didn't want to get up. You wished you could stay like this forever. Your naked body covered just by a light sheet and a warm hand drawing lazy patterns on your hipbone. Suddenly the figure by your side moved. They drew their hand back and got up. You murmured quietly when you felt the body heat next to you disappear and suddenly you felt cold. "Don't make that face," his smooth voice said. "You know, I can't be late today. Thor would be furious."

  
You heard the rustling of fabric and naked feet walking across the cold stone floor. Still half asleep you turned around and tried to remember anything from outside this bedroom. What was going on again? Oh, right! Today was Thor's coronation. After today Thor would be king. As much as you liked the bulky blonde man you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the thought. You - and Loki agreed with you there - just didn't think he was responsible enough to be king yet. One day maybe but not now. But as the simple daughter of an Asgardian knight you didn't have any say in this of course. Not even Loki, a prince, was allowed to voice his opinion on this matter in front of Odin.

  
You slowly opened one of your eyes and got a glimpse at the beautiful sight of Loki putting on a simple linen shirt to cover his bare torso. You bit your lip to suppress a small smile. It was completely insane to think that you, someone completely unimportant in the Asgardian royal circles, was now lying in the prince's bed after spending the whole night with him. You first met him two and a half years ago. It was the day of Odin's throne anniversary and the palace threw a big ball celebrating it. Everyone even slightly important had been invited, just like your father who had allowed you to tag along. You felt kind of out of place because you didn't know anybody there when suddenly someone asked you for a dance. Loki and you danced all night and just a couple of weeks later you had become his official mistress. It was a honorable, officially recognized position and made you part of the royal court. Loki was allowed to take you with him to festivals, present you with beautiful gifts and show you off in front of others, who in return had to respect you just like any other woman in the palace.  
But besides all of these benefits you were always reminded that your relationship wasn't one of love. It was one of mutual benefits. And although you weren't much interested in the gifts and parties but more in the prince himself, you thought to yourself that it was better this way. And Loki obviously thought so too considering that he was always making sure the most that you remembered he didn't love you. He was interested in your body and your personality was nice enough to keep you around, but that was it. No romance, no love.

  
"Get up!" He said impatiently and pulled the sheets off of your body in one go. "Get dressed and then go. I need to get ready."

  
You were already used to his harsh words and knew better than to play around now so you stood up and picked up your thin gown from the ground. You pulled it over your head and quickly made your way to the door but before you could exit Loki grabbed your wrist and pulled you back against his chest. He pressed three quick kisses along your neck and whispered with a mischievous smile, "Wear the dress I picked for you tonight."

  
You just nodded before quickly exiting his bedroom to make your way over to your own chambers. Even though you were granted your own chambers in the castle Loki would never visit you there. It was like a silent agreement between you two that you were always required to come to him. Even when you two weren't meeting up to spent the night together. Surprisingly and against popular believe your relationship wasn't just about sex. It was more than that. You two were close but not in just a physical way. Sometimes you sat together in his room and just talked for hours. Being in Loki's presence relaxed you and you seemed to have a similar effect on him. Although he would probably never admit that.

  
You were slowly walking along the hall to your room when suddenly you started to feel a little weird. You took a deep breath, hoping it would help at least until you reached your room. Maybe you were getting sick? You didn't feel well in the last couple of days. Hopefully you would feel better later during the ceremony. But with each step you took your vision became more blurry and the world around shifted. "Oh no," you whispered and leaned against the wall for support.  
"Lady (y/n)?" You heard a guard call. "Lady (y/n)? Is everything okay?"

  
"Yeah," you answered, breathing heavily. "I'm good..." Suddenly you legs gave up beneath you and you fell to the floor. Your knees were hurting but the feeling of sickness was worse. "Lady (y/n)!" The guard called alarmed. "Help! We need help here. The lady isn't feeling well!"

  
You wanted to say that you just needed to lay down for a little bit but instead of words your midnight snack from last night came out of your mouth. After you had emptied your stomach two guards helped you back on your feet. Luckily the dizziness was slowly reverting again and the sickness was gone.  
"I'm feeling a lot better now. You really don't need to make such a fuss."

  
"Milady, you just collapsed!" The first guard said. "We will bring you to your room."

  
***

  
A couple hours later you felt completely fine again and you had almost forgotten about the weird incident this morning. The ceremony was about to start and you stood in the throne room along with many other guests. You were wearing a beautiful light blue dress that brought out your (e/c) eyes. You didn't doubt for a second that Loki picked the dress with this intention in mind.

  
"(Y/n), you look stunning!"

  
You turned around and saw Frigga walking towards you with a bright smile. You and the queen got along quite well and she seemed to like you a lot, to your relief. Loki and his mother were rather close.

  
"Thank you, ma'am," you said with a shy smile. "Your dress is beautiful too."

  
"I wasn't talking about your dress" the queen said with this mischievous glint in her eyes you saw so often in her son Loki. You blushed. But in the next moment her expression changed. "But fun aside, I heard what happened to you this morning. Are you sure you should be here, child?"

  
Damn, you cursed in your mind. "You did?" You asked with a frown. "Does Loki know?"

  
Frigga gave you a look. "Obviously."

  
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Great. Vomiting in the hallway, super attractive.

  
"He looked rather worried about you, you know?" Frigga informed you.

  
"Really?" You asked not convinced. But Frigga nodded. "Of course he did. I know he isn't good at showing it but you really mean a lot to him. I see it in the way he looks at you."

  
Her words made your heart flutter a little but your head knew that it wasn't possible. He was a very affectionate lover but caring about you in a way that implied more than a simple companionship didn't sound like Loki at all.

  
"I know, you don't believe me," Frigga said all of the sudden. "And although I think that you're a smart young woman, I know my son better than anyone else. And I'm telling you, he never kept any girl around for as long as he's kept you. He likes to have you around. He's happier when he's with you. He smiles brighter and laughs louder. As his mother it makes me very happy to see him like that."

  
"Thank you very much, your majesty," you said. "I'm glad to know that Loki enjoys my company as much as I enjoy his."

  
Frigga smiled at you again when the gaze shifted to something behind you. "Speak of the devil," she mumbled.

  
"Mother," Loki said and gave her a kiss on her cheek. You had to admit that he was looking quite impressive with the green and gold and his helmet. Afterwards he turned to you, his eyes fixing on yours. "(Y/n)," he said. "I hope you're feeling better now?"

  
"I do. Thank you for asking."

  
"Why didn't you tell me that you weren't feeling well?" He asked you accusing.

  
You raised an eyebrow. "Would it have changed anything about how rudely you treated me?" Loki smiled at you deviously. "Probably not."

  
"Loki!" His mother said disapprovingly. "That's not the way to treat a lady. I taught you better than that!"

  
"Yes mother," he said obediently but the wink he gave you told a different story.

  
"We should get ready. Your brother will make his entrance soon," Frigga reminded. She smiled at you for the last time before she left the two. Loki promptly sneaked an arm around your waist.

  
"You look truly beautiful in that dress," he whispered in your ear and placed a soft kiss underneath it. "I chose well."

  
"Yes you did," you agreed smiling. "And you seem to be in a good mood today. How come?"

  
Loki shrugged. "I just feel like today is going to be a great day. Besides, I can dance and drink with you all night and I like how touchy you always get when you're drunk."

  
You let your hand wander across his chest and up to his neck where you started to play with the hair at the back of his neck. "So your plan was to get me drunk today?"

  
"Don't act so innocent. Admit it, your plan was the same."

  
"Maybe," you joked. Loki pressed another quick kiss to your cheek and told you that he needed to go now but he would look for you later. Sometimes you were allowed to stand with him at official events but a coronation was just way to important and you understood that Loki couldn't have his mistress by his side. You didn't belong there. But if you were his wife on the other hand...

  
You quickly shook your head. Where did that weird thought come from so suddenly? You dismissed the thought and took your place along the other Asgardians when you started to hear thunder roll. Thor appeared and the hall started cheering. He let the people scream his name and celebrate him while he was slowly making his way towards the throne and his family standing next to it. Thor was in the middle of swearing his loyalty when Odin suddenly stopped. You didn't have to stand close by to notice the change of air around him when he said,

  
"Frost giants."

  
***

  
You were waiting in the hallway. The guests had already left long ago but Odin was still talking with his sons. After frost giants had infiltrated the castle all celebrations were stopped and then canceled. But you were still wearing the dress Loki had chosen for you. He had looked distraught when he had left the hall with Thor and Odin. But maybe you could to cheer him up later on.

  
You were sitting on some stairs in your lap a plate with some bread. You didn't know why but you were really hungry for some reason. How could you eat in a situation like this? You started to act like Volstagg.

  
Almost all your bread had vanished inside your mouth when you finally heard steps coming closer. A pair of heavy steps and some lighter ones. Thor and Loki.  
You jumped to your feet right when Thor walked around the corner shortly followed by Loki. You had never seen Thor this angry before.

  
You were about to say something but Loki shook discreetly. You shut your mouth again and the princes walked past you. Whatever they were about to discuss it wasn't meant for your ears.

  
***

  
"Loki! Loki!" You called for him. Loki, Thor, Lady Sif and the Warrior Three were preparing their horses but nobody knew where they were going.

  
"Loki!" You called again, making your way through the crowd of people that had gathered around the princes. Loki finally heard you and turned around.

  
"(Y/n)!" He said smiling brightly. "Did you come to give me a goodbye kiss?"

  
"No, I actually came to ask where you are going," you explained, the bad feeling growing in your stomach.

  
"What do you think?" He replied, his tongue sticking out between his teeth playfully and suddenly you knew. Jotunheim.

  
He was climbing on his horse in that exact moment and you only managed to take his hand while saying, "Loki, that is crazy! You can't go there! You are going to get killed!"

  
"Try tell that Thor! I tried to but he won't listen!"

  
You shook your head. "They try again! Please, you can't go! I won't allow it!"

  
In the moment the words had slipped out of your mouth you realized you shouldn't have said them. Loki frowned, looking down at you.  
"You won't allow me? Who do you think you are? My mother?"

  
"No, but I'm your..." You bit your tongue, preventing the words from coming out. But it was already too late. Anger made its way into his eyes and he ripped his hand from your grasp.

  
"You are my mistress! Nothing more. Don't pretend you have any kind of control over me!"

  
You didn't get another chance to talk. He just left you standing there, riding towards his death. Your lower lip was quivering while thick hot tears were rolling down your cheeks. You quickly wiped them away with the back of your hand and made your way back inside. Why were you crying? You never cried. Loki had been to a whole bunch of equally dangerous missions with his brother in the past. And not a single time did you cry. You always knew he's come back. What was different this time? Why couldn't you stop crying?

  
***

  
Thor was banished and the others came back deeply wounded. You were sitting in Loki's room waiting for him to come back. They had almost been killed in Jotunheim. And Thor was gone. But at least Loki was back. That was the most important thing to you. That he came back to you.

  
The door opened and Loki entered the room. When he saw you he stopped, just staring at you. He was paler than before and his eyes looked tired and alarmed at the same time. Probably from the shock of losing his brother. Loki made another step towards you and you stood up, holding out your hand ready to take him into a warm embrace.

  
His hand flinched, like he wanted to extend his hand as well, take yours. But instead he turned his hands into fists and clenched his jaw. "Get out," his voice not more than a mere whisper.

  
"Wha-what?" You stuttered confused. He never refused you comforting him. Every time something happened - a fight with his brother, with his father, losing a battle, anything - he always took your hand in his, kissed it, kissed you and accepted your embrace. But not today.

  
"Get out!" He hissed through his teeth.

  
"But why?" You asked. Sad but now angry as well. "What is wrong? What happened? Why are you so cold to me?"

  
"GET OUT!" He screamed, making the last few steps towards you and grabbed your upper arm. Hard. It hurt and you bit your lip to not hiss in pain. He pulled you towards the door and threw you out. You stumbled over your own feet and fell to the ground.

  
You looked up at his face. His icy eyes glaring daggers at you before he threw his door shut.

  
He had thrown you out. He had never done this before. He had never hurt you before. You looked at your upper arm where bruises where already forming. In that moment you made a decision. Fine. If he didn't want you anymore then you would get out of his life. Simple as that. That had been the deal from the very beginning. You scrambled to your feet and made your way back to your room. You felt a little dizzy. Maybe you had hit your head? Didn't matter. You were way too angry right now to think about it anyway. Tears were burning in your eyes. But this time out of anger instead of sadness. You were angry at Loki.

  
All this time, wasted. You thought about what Frigga had said this morning. That Loki cared about you. That you meant something to him. As nice as it sounded you should've known that it wasn't true. His reaction was proof enough. Loki wasn't able to care about anyone but himself. And certainly did he not care about you.

  
You started to ran but with every step you felt more nauseous and the dizziness was becoming worse and worse.

  
You didn't look where you were going and realized too late that you were running straight into someone else. The bump was enough to knock you off your feet and you fell to the ground for a third time today.

  
“(y/n)? Are you alright?” you heard the soft voice of queen Frigga ask. “What is that on your arm?”

  
“I'm not feeling well,” you admitted. Frigga called for a guard who took you up in his arms.

  
“Where are we going?” you asked feeling incredibly nauseous.

  
“We're going to the hospital wing,” she explained calmly. “You are obviously not well.”

  
You didn't remember much from the walk to the hospital wing because you were too busy trying not to vomit all over yourself. You just remember suddenly lying on a bed, a soft glow of purple light and nurse telling you that she will help you sleep for a little bit while she will examine your condition. Then everything went black.

  
***

  
“Pregnant?” you asked the 'nurse' still shocked. The woman who had scanned your body for any signs of illness smiled at you. “Yes, congratulations! Your reaction is stronger than usual, which gave us quite a shock but it's still all okay. Nothing to worry about.”

  
You couldn't react. You didn't know how. You were pregnant. With the child of a man who didn't want to see you. And you were not married to. You were pregnant with a bastard. The bastard of the man who was currently sitting on the throne of Asgard because Odin had fallen into Odinsleep last night. But how would you tell him? You had to tell him if you wanted a last chance at him seeing what he would lose if he sent you away.

  
You stood up from the bed you had been sitting on but your legs were still to weak and you almost fell down. You had been sleeping for almost a whole day. “Milady! Where do you think you're going?”

  
“What?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. “Am I not allowed to tell the father about his own child?”

  
“Sure...” the nurse responded, still unsure if she should let you go or not.

  
“Then that's what I am doing now!”

  
You walked straight to the throne room and there he sat. His helmet in his lap, drawing the fingers of his left hand along the edges of its horns. His right hand was holding the scepter.

  
“(y/n)?” He asked and the surprise made his voice sound soft. “What are you doing here?”

  
“We need to talk, Loki.”

  
The god just rolled his eyes. “I don't have time for your pathetic feelings, (y/n).”

  
“Excuse me?”

  
“I said what I said.” Loki put his helmet back on his head and stood up. He slowly walked the stairs down until he stood right in front of you. “You know how this game works. I don't want to deal with your feelings. It's exhausting. Now be a sweetheart and wait in my room for me. I'll be coming later.”

  
He walked back to the throne but you didn't move a muscle. Did he just say...?

  
“You don't want to get rid of me?” You asked confused. Loki turned around frowning. “No? What gave you that ex-...?” His eyes were searching your face for a second before trailing down and staring at the blue and purple bruises on your arm.

  
“Oh, I see,” he said and you sensed the rapid change in his mood before his face revealed it. “That's what you were going for, isn't it? Did you come in here hoping I'd tell you that I'm sick of you and that you can go? You are probably disgusted by my touch too! Come on, tell me the truth! Did you hope every night that it would just be done already? So that you could go back to...I don't know, another man, maybe?”

  
“Loki, no!” You said quickly. “What are you talking about? I never said anything like that!” How could he say all of these cruel things? This wasn't the Loki you knew. This wasn't the man you once...you still...

  
“You didn't need to say it!” He hissed. “I see it in your face. Do you think I didn't notice the way you looked at me yesterday? Or right now? Or the expression on your face when you think I can't see you? Do you really think I'm not smarter than some common concubine? A whore?”

  
“Loki!” You heard a familiar voice call angry and Loki turned around to see his mother entering the room. You didn't look at Frigga. You were too shocked. Tears were burning in your eyes and your mouth was wide open. Wanting to say anything but you just couldn't. Was that really what he thought about you? Did he see you as nothing better than a whore that was only with him for his power and wealth?

  
You felt Frigga's hands on your shoulders before you were able to look at her. You heard her lecturing her son. Loki was screaming back at her but you couldn't hear what they were saying. At some point you felt Frigga leading you out of the throne room and that's when you could comprehend her words again.  
“I'm so sorry (y/n),” she whispered gently. “Loki went through a lot, he's not in his right mind right now. Are you okay?”

  
You couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears were streaming down your face now and the words just fell out of your mouth, “I'm pregnant.”

  
Frigga froze for a second before catching herself again. “Does Loki know?” She asked but you shook your head.

  
She nodded. “Alright, come with me, dear. I think we need to talk to you about something.” Frigga led you to her personal chambers. You had never been here before, you had no right to. But now you didn't think about that. You were wondering what Frigga wanted to talk about. Maybe she would tell you that you had to go? That nobody was allowed to know about the child and that you would have to raise it in secret. Hearing Frigga say these things would break your heart but you knew it was a possibility.

  
The two of you sat down and she offered you a cup of tea.

  
“Now,” she started. “You are carrying Loki's child, which means that I need to tell you some things about Loki. First off, he is not our biological child. Loki, was adopted.”

  
“Oh,” you said surprised. But what did this mean now for you? Why didn't they tell you before? Maybe it was a secret only the king and queen were allowed to know of?

  
“Yes, but that's not the only thing you need to know about.” And then she told you everything. On how Odin found a baby in Jotunheim, Laufey's son, how they took the boy in and raised him as their own and that this boy was Loki.

  
“But-but that means, that I... that this child...,” you stuttered unable to understand what she just told you. But in the back of your mind you knew and understood. It meant that the child inside you was a Frost Giant too. Your baby was a monster and so was its father.

  
“Why didn't he tell me?” you asked in shock.

  
“He didn't know,” Frigga said. “He didn't know what he was until last night. He couldn't tell you.” Silence fell between the two of you. You didn't know how to think or to act.

  
“What do we do now?” You asked after a while.

  
“You're going to stay in my wing of the palace,” Frigga informed you. “You will get a nice room for you and the baby. But as for now, you should probably stay away from Loki or he'll do something he might regret. If he hasn't already done that.” She was looking at the bruises on your arm and your hand flew up to cover them.

  
“And I think we shouldn't tell Loki for the time being,” Frigga added. “He isn't mentally stable enough at the moment. We should wait until he has settled down a bit.”

  
You agreed and drank out your tea. A couple of minutes later a servant came who would lead you to your new room, carefully and always cautious that Loki didn't see you.

  
***

  
Loki was dead. You couldn't believe the news when you first heard them. Just a week ago you were still tangled in his sheets together. Kissing each other. Now he was dead. Gone. Forever. After all your time together it seemed almost like a joke to you. This is how it all should end? Him rejecting you and dying short after? And with you pregnant with his child?

  
You didn't cry over him. Too many tears had already left your body in the last couple of days. You weren't able to cry anymore. Your hand laid on your stomach, gently rubbing over it thinking of the child that was growing inside. He would never know.

  
He would never know about your child. And he would never know that you... It didn't matter anymore. He was dead. All was over. Only your pain had just begun.

  
***

  
You were sitting in your room reading a book. The red light of the evening sun lend you her light. You had a soft smile on your face, while your hand rested on the crib next to you. You had given birth to a beautiful baby boy just two months ago.

  
You loved your child dearly. Never had you thought that was possible. Especially not after Frigga told you about Loki's real heritage. But so it was. You didn't think of him as a monster anymore. He was your baby. So innocent and small. His heart was beating right beneath your own for months. How could something so pure be a monster?

  
Your son was sleeping. His skin soft and pink like a peach and his tiny head was covered in a little bit of dark hair. He looked so peaceful.

  
Suddenly your door bust open and you quickly put a finger on your mouth to show the visitor that they had to be quiet. It was Thor who stood awkwardly in your room and closed the door carefully behind him. You and Thor had become good friends through your shared grieve over Loki's death.

  
Thor moved closer and glanced quickly down on his nephew to make sure he didn't wake him up.

  
“I need to talk to you,” he told you quietly. You nodded your head and stood up to walk with Thor outside where you two could talk.

  
“What's wrong? You look concerned,” you asked Thor, who looked like he was about to tell you something really really bad.

  
“Loki is back.”

  
All blood rushed out of your face. “Not possible,” you whispered. “You said, he was dead. You saw it!”

  
“I saw him fall,” Thor corrected. “I don't know how it's possible that he's still alive but he is. And he's at Midgard, killing people.”

  
“Midgard?” you asked. “What does he want on Midgard?”

  
“I don't know,” said Thor. “I'm going to follow him. I'll try to stop him an bring him back home and then father can held him responsible for all his crimes.”

  
“But what about...?” you pointed at your door, showing Thor that you meant your son. Loki's son.

  
Thor hesitated. “I don't think it would be a good idea to tell him about him. Loki is beyond reason, we don't know what he will do. To you or your child.”  
“I can't just not tell him! He has a right to know.”

  
“(y/n),” Thor said softly. “I know you have this fantasy in your head. That you will tell him and suddenly the old Loki will come back. But that can never happen. The Loki we both know is no more. This is a mad man. A murderer.”

  
“How do you know? You didn't talk to him yet or did you?” You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

  
“Obviously not. But first I need to bring him back home anyway. We'll see what we do then. But please (y/n), think of your child. When Loki is back, don't do anything you could regret.” Then he left, his warning still lingering in the air. You went back in your room and sat down next to the crib. You reached out a hand to touch your son's tiny cheek. He stirred a little but stayed asleep. So peaceful.

  
Tears escaped your eyes but you didn't know if they were tears of relief or fear.

  
***

  
_Don't tell Loki_ , they said. _Don't tell him, he will kill you._

  
He was sitting in a cell for over a year now. How was he supposed to hurt you?

  
You sneaked into the dungeon beneath the palace. So shortly after Frigga's death the guards were far to distracted to notice a woman with her one year old child in her arms. It wasn't just that you felt like Loki deserved to know. It also wasn't like you were still clinging to the hope the old Loki would come back. You did this for yourself. You wanted an explanation. Why he did to you what he did. Why he just threw you and everything you two had away.

  
You could see him sitting in his cell from afar. The furniture destroyed and scattered all across his cell. He was leaning against the wall. His black hair – you had always loved to bury your hands in – a mess. He was wearing a thin linen shirt, it reminded of all the mornings when you had woken up to the sight of him getting dressed. He would always come over to you as soon as he saw that you were awake and press his lips quickly against yours.

  
You remembered how warm and soft they felt. But now his lips were pale and chapped. His tired eyes with dark circles underneath looked up at you.

  
“Oh, look who's still here!” His voice was hoarse and deep. “I'm surprised the palace didn't get rid of you after everything that had happened. Nobody would've blamed them. Who cares about the whore of a Frost Giant?”

  
You stayed silent, gripping tighter to your son in your arms. Your heart beat was so loud it was almost all your heard. Loki's gaze shifted to the child.

  
“What do I see there? A baby? So you actually did find someone to fuck you after I left?”

  
“Loki, cut it,” you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking.

  
“It's Thor, isn't it?” Loki asked suddenly. His eyes looking up at the ceiling. “He always looked at you this certain way. I never liked it. It bothered me. Oh well, maybe this human didn't mean as much to him as I expected.”

  
Your son was whining in your arms. He didn't like being carried around for so long. You tried to calm him down and rocked him a little bit.

  
“Now, what are you doing here?” Loki asked. “And why did you bring the child? Expect me to feel bad now? How old is the child? A year? Was I at least already declared dead before you started fucking someone else?”

  
You covered your son's ears and made soothing sounds to make him stop crying.

  
“I want an explanation,”you finally said.

  
“An explanation for what?”

  
“Why you treated me the way you did! In one second everything was normal and the next you acted like I betrayed you. All these time I thought it was something that I did, but it wasn't! It wasn't my fault no matter how much you like to twist the past to make it look that way! What made you turn into such a monster?”

  
“I always was a monster,” he said simply. “You know, what I am.” But you shook your head. You wouldn't accept this . “No, don't come me with that weak excuse. What you are didn't make you a monster. It was your actions. The things you did. To me, to your brother, to those humans. You don't get to say all of this is in your blood because if it were I wouldn't have fallen in love with you. The actions that have bought you here are not the actions of the man I loved.”  
There you said it. The thing you never wanted to admit to yourself. You loved him. You weren't sure how you imagined him to react but certainly not the way he did. He was laughing.

  
“Love,” he spat out the word like poison. Loki slowly stood up and walked towards you. His bleeding feet were leaving bloody footprints on the white ground. He stood right in front of you. Without the force field between you you could've felt his body heat. The warmth that was so familiar to you. That had engulfed you for years almost every night.

  
His blue eyes were switching between you and the child. “You have an interesting way of showing your love.”

  
That was it. You had enough now. It was already cruel enough that he didn't believe you that you had actually loved him. But implying that your son, his son, was proof that you never truly loved him was enough.

  
“Loki, it's yours!” You spat into his face.

  
The arrogant smile of his face fell immediately and confusion took over. He took a couple of steps back. “Excuse me?”

  
“He is your son, Loki,” you told him more calmly this time.

  
His eyes were fixed on his son. He had finally stopped crying and was now looking up at his father with innocent blue eyes. Loki's expression had changed completely from arrogance to confusion and now...you couldn't really say. It wasn't shock, it wasn't anger. He looked somehow...calm. It made you nervous. What did this calmness mean?

  
Loki sat down on a half broken chair and stared up at the two of you. “What's his name?” he asked after some time.

  
“Kai. Your mother chose the name.” Loki nodded. After he didn't say another word you started to explain. “I realized that I'm pregnant during your time as Asgard's king. When I wanted to tell you, you pushed me away. And then later you disappeared. I thought you were dead. So I never got to tell you.”

  
A spark of realization flashed behind his eyes. He remembered how he treated you during this time. “I've I had known that you were pregnant...I wouldn't have...”

  
"Would it have changed anything about how rudely you treated me?"

  
Loki smiled at you sadly. "Probably not."

  
You returned his smile for a small moment before becoming serious again. Your face was stoic. Not revealing anything about your thoughts or feeling.

  
He sighed. “I... I'm sorry.”

  
Your heart skipped a beat. For the first time you heard Loki apologize. But you had to stay on the ground. A simply apology wasn't enough. “Too little too late, Loki.”

  
His shoulder's dropped. Without another word you turned around and started to walk out of the dungeon. Loki jumped to his feet. “(y/n)!” he called.

  
You turned around and looked at him a final time. Was that...remorse on his face?

  
He didn't say anything. He was searching for words and when he finally found them he admitted, “I think...I think, I loved you too.”

  
Your face stayed cold as you turned around again, clutching Kai to your chest and leaving Loki behind for good.


End file.
